the sex movie

I know you've desired it. I know you've been addicted to it. I know you've been sneaking over to your family room, like a thief creeping, glancing left and right, trying not to make any noise and wake up anyone asleep. I know you've done it. I know you've probably taped it. Yes, that's right, you're busted.

I'm talking about sex.. sex and the city. Let's be honest here guys. I know you watch sex and the city. And I know you have to keep it as discreet as possible. I know how weird it is for a guy to be seen watching these materialistic ladies talk about sex and shoes over lunch.

I came from an exclusive school for boys and it's a bit awkward since we're like not expected to watch it. But there are surprisingly quite a number of us who discreetly watch the show and we don't give a shit gabbing about it. You see, guys can as well enjoy the show in our own way. We're straight, we watch, we laugh, we cringe (sometimes) and that's it. We don't discuss much about the show.

It is clear that the show is oriented to the female demographic. It's girly, but we liked it. So why do we find ourselves watching the show? As a member of the male audience, why does this show in some way appeal to me? The frank sex discussion? curiosity? the witty writing? the new york ladies? the sex humor? I'm not sure. Maybe all of the above.

Last night I got invited to see the movie. It's an estrogen-propelled chick flick sequel to the tv show. Alright.. I'll be straight-up with you and tell you how bad the movie was. I'm Kidding. Well, there's a little issue in stretching the movie into a two and a half hour flick, like I lost a huge amount of testosterone in the movie house. You see, bigger doesn't always mean better. For me it was nothing more but a butt-numbing season marathon of sex and the city.

I'm not a faithful viewer of sex and the city while it was running, so I really can't attest to the movie's sincerity to the tv show. But from a young fan of sex, I think the movie was disappointing. Yes, it's very funny, cheesy, sexy, a real crowd pleaser, but it was not good enough to call it a good film... a long good episode perhaps.

oh pinocchio

Every guy lies to his parents about something. We party, we smoke and we drink. We incline to have gaudy activities. We nearly commit crimes. And the truth is, our mom's just can't handle the truth. My mom catches me whenever I sneak home late. I fear that I might disappoint her in a way so I lie. In my case, lying tend to be as essential as food and water.

But you see, lying requires commitment. A good liar possesses an impressive creativity and impulsive skill in lying. Like the time when I came home from a drinking binge with my highschool buddies, I was tiptoeing to my room when my mom came out for a surprise. She cornered me with her fixed icy stare to ask where have I been and who I was with. "I..I.." I blanked and I hurried to my room.

Well I guess I need to exercise my sinful muscles a little more. I know that she worries that I might be doing stuff that I could regret someday. Well I'm not mom. I'm clean, well, just a little alcohol in my system. My mom came from a very conservative family and therefore regards her suspicions as my sins.

Lying seems to be the only way to avoid hurting her as I indulge in my own tawdry little needs. Sometimes I ask myself like why can't I just tell her the truth? I can't. I guess I'm more concerned with the disappointment and headache that the truth will create than the grave sin I repeatedly commit. And thinking that almost every man in the world lies to his parents helps me feel more confident and better about lying.

I read that lying is normally socially accepted. Well certainly it is. We lie to impress some ladies. We lie to flatter some chics. We lie to conceal our dirty little desires. But morally speaking, lying is never ok. Lying kills relationships. Lying creates secrets and secrets isolate people from one another. Lying is no good. I guess that says it all. Lesson learned: Let's minimize the lies.

reality bites

I worry a lot. Everyday. All day long. There are just some stuff happening right now that's a bit much for me to handle. Last night it took me a while to fall asleep. I was thinking about the stuff that might slide back into a cloudy whirlpool if I don't start fixing things up. It's a bit vague like my previous sentences. I sit still on my bed swallowed up by anger and anxiety.

I can deal with anger since I seem to have it most of the time. It's the paranoia that disturbs me. My paranoia level is through the roof. It gets me crazy as paranoia becomes my regular state of mind. I start to perceive things to be against my character and personality. As everything turns suspicious and skeptical, I start to question people's sneaky and malicious motives. It's insanity. But what if it's not. What if my paranoia proves something true? Call it coincidence or luck but what if the subsequent things are proven true. Am I a psychic?

In this situation, there’s the hassle that people would call you nuts, insane, mad or twisted. But you see, what they call crazy is actually normal to me. So maybe I am crazy.

tv roundup

I DEMAND for the resurrection of SOLAR CHANNELS in SKYCABLE. You see, I haven't seen Conan O'Brien's late night show since the skycable-solar split up and major programming swap between ETC and Jack TV. It's sad that Jack TV was axed from the cable lineup and ETC ceased airing O'Brien, Leno and SNL for Letterman.

I'm a big fan of late night talk shows. From the forgivable humor of Leno and Letterman to the hilarious natural cracks of Conan and Jon Stewart. Recently, I heard Jimmy Fallon will take over the late night slot. Fallon will be the new Conan, and Conan will take over Leno as he retires from the tonight show. I guess NBC is making a big big risk in handing down the late show to a fumbling SNL star with a failed movie career. This is not cool NBC. Not cool.

Don't get me wrong. I think Jimmy Fallon is great. I've seen him around SNL hosting with Tina Fey in weekend update. The guy is good, funny.. but I just don't think he can live up to the expectations of the late night patrons. Why not some Jimmy Fallon show? Like his own late night gig.. another Carson Daly boredom perhaps.

You see, the Late Night show has been branded as "the Conan O'Brien show". So I guess it's a stupid move from NBC to hand down a distinctive show to some guy tagged as one of the least funny comedians in america.

So how would Late Night with Jimmy Fallon be? You guess. Probably some Fallon-centric SNL sketch, where he fumbles his lines before he even cracks the joke to the audience. Well, sounds like a tv disaster in the making. Can't wait to watch.

gossip vultures

I accidentally ran over some maid's foot. There was a flock of vultures near our driveway. Household maids were having a little business gathering.. probably gossiping. One lady perhaps had her foot near the wheel and it got driven over. I heard a shriek as I pull out of our garage, I glanced a bit behind and drove off.

Later, I got a message from our maid that I almost broke her friend's foot. But she's fine, no bruise, no injury or anything. I really did not see her. I froze a bit and from that moment, I knew I'm gonna be the subject of their little flock the next day.

There's nothing like a good 'ole fashioned neighborhood gossip. It has been a bit colder and rainy but the bad weather cannot stop the neighbors from gossiping. My family hosted a little neighborhood dinner for the block rosary last sunday. And yes, all these lovely housewives with overdone use of botox can stand to hold a rosary despite their rotten morals.

We had takeouts and homemade dips for dinner, something that'll keep their hands and mouths busy. But it didn't work. They started opening up about the others on the street. Everyone starts talking before you get to say anything. It's ridiculous. It never ends. Even desserts couldn't hold their loose mouths for at least a minute. I couldn't help it so I left the table.

"hey, did you hear...."
"i heard...."
"did your son just...."

I'm sure they may have some words about me but I guess they couldn't throw it to my folks' faces. Well seeing me from time to time leaving the house and going home the morning after in the same clothes, I wouldn't be surprised. But despite their deep stares, they got no balls. My name was clean that night. I was indeed the good guy next door. Well, I really am.

hallelujah!

You know what makes me chuckle? A mid-eastern style meal. Shwarma, shaorma, shawerma, shawarma or however you prefer spelling it. I wasn't in touch with middle eastern food back then. I didn't know anything. Well, call me boring but I'm satisfied with cheeseburgers and fries.

I began eating shawarma fairly late of my teenage life. It was lunch time at the NAIA airport, as usual everyone falls for fastfood squeezing themselves in just to get a bite of jollibee and kfc. Well, I'd rather starve than stretch myself in that hungry crowd.

So as I wait for my mom's arrival, I saw this man dressed in cook's outfit standing before his searing hot cooking grids. I sit still in the car starving, observing the man sharpening his lengthy knives, drenching in sweat, staring and greeting anyone who passes his sizzling vertical cooker.

A few minutes later, the fully dressed man slices off strips from this massive rare meat as these two oriental guys asked for a shawarma. Our driver told me that shawarmas are good, they're clean. He described it as "the arabian taco". So I figured, I guess it's time to discover the grandeur of middle east cuisine.

I got out of the car and walked towards the shawarma stand. The two oriental guys were walking against my direction finishing their little meal, nodding and smiling. I got myself one and another for our driver and that was my first real experience of the arabian taco.

Since then, shawarma has been my default mid-day meal. I get it because it's handy. No plates, no utensils. It's good to go. The faster the better. Back in LSGH, we only have a half-hour break. Minus the time we spend walking and falling in line, we roughly have 10 minutes to enjoy our break. So you see, shawarma makes our lunch a little easier. Imagine meat, veggies, spices and that goopy spurt of cheesy mayo, all rolled up in this soft browning edges of pita bread. All that lavishness under a single bite? Hallelujah! Pretty handy indeed.

vampire weekend

The other day was a big slap on my face so I thought, I'll make this weekend a little quiet. And that means NO booze, no redbulls, no partying, in other words.. no fun. I just feel like I need to get my shits in order. After that horrible hangover? Booze is banned baby!(for a while I guess)

So anyway, I've been listening to Vampire Weekend since first discovering them last monday. It's an indie band from New York City, a city that gives birth to great bands every minute I guess. Born particularly in Brooklyn and they're cooking a popular taste of african music. I've read about this band on blogs and they're pretty much making a wave out on the scene.. well, definitely with a good reason.

no superman for now

I guess part of drinking is being irresponsible and stupid. I'm aware that massive drinking is no good. But like I've said being stupid is part of drinking. I engaged in binge drinking with some college friends and I got that bad kind of kapow in a short amount of time. I was taking down alcohol like superman. I thought I can take shots left and right without any effect in my system.

After 4 hours and 400 more shots later, I remember I was being loud and cocky. Yes, the annoying kind of people you want to shoot in the head. It was stupid. Well, I was messed up. It felt like gravity was in a temporary suspension that night. Happy juice is a real killer. Put enough into your system and you die. They don't call it poison for nothing. I could barely stand, and the next thing I know, it's 10 in the morning and I'm waking up on a friend's living room carpet.

Surviving the morning after is worse. You'll still be alive but the consequences from last night will gradually kill you. Terrible headache, dehydration, nausea, unpleasant appetite, a guilty conscience, in other words.. hangover. When I woke up, I looked around the room and I knew something's not right. I ran to the bathroom to throw up. I was not feeling good at all. I stayed on the couch for a few more hours until I decided to go home.

As I staggered home, I went straight to the bathroom, down on my knees again clasping the toilet seat. I threw up for the third time. This time, the blueish cocktail I had last night was down the drain. I took a shower and brushed my teeth for an hour. I have sentenced myself to complete bed rest for at least 24 hours.

So, yes, I, superman, was finally forced to admit my mortality, my vulnerability, to swallow my pride and say hangover is my kryptonite. Superman is off duty. For now, I'll be the average Clark Kent sculpting my body on my bed for the next few hours.

world war marathon

I'm lounging in the same jeans and shirt since this morning. Beside me is my 10 year old cousin. His glassy oriental eyes are glued on the intense opening of Saving Private Ryan. It's the third film of our little war-movie marathon that we started just this morning. Yes, we're watching war films. Well, sure there are gunfires, explosions, screaming, blood baths but I think my cousin is matured enough to handle it. He's 10, but mentally he's 30 and by 11 I'll teach him how to drive.

Anyway, you're probably wondering why am I letting this kid watch a film that pretty much encompasses violence and glorifying inhuman act. Well, you see, war movies despite the mindless intensity and action, it also contains inspiring struggles and triumph, elements that I believe are part of human life. Black Hawk Down, Saving Private Ryan, Full Metal Jacket, The Pianist... these aren't just any regular movies. I believe these are inspirational movies though we cringe from disgust in most scenes.

These are films that fairly received respect from the viewers and the critics. Yes, I see that these are made to mainly entertain but, they are never written without any significant purpose. There are elements in the movies that addressed a certain truth.

War films, open our eyes to what is real. They wake us up to what we really see in our everyday lives. They wake us up to see the problems of our human condition. They wake us up to things that we once took for granted. They open our eyes to see evil in people's hearts and give us a taste of where it could lead to.

War films take us to a time where people fought for ideals, independence and freedom. I believe as early as 10, kids should learn to see this perspective in war movies. It's not just about violence, blood and gore, I believe it's reality, I believe it is our history.

happy mother's day mum!

There's just something unattractive about a man who is too close to his mother. When I was a teenager, I started having this urgent need to get away from my mother. Well, being the unico hijo in the family, I certainly get this ridiculous amount of attention. And now as a young man, I still have that urge which makes me cringe in disgust whenever my mom would touch me affectionately.

I try to be a good son, but like most guys out there, I've created this little complicated mother-son relationship. Ask me when was the last time I hug my mom and I'll pull this guilty face. Ask me when was the last time I said I love you to my mom and I'll draw this slight disgusted sneer. It's just complicated. But I really do love her. It's just hard for me to express it.

Laguna ditz

Guilty watching Laguna Beach? I swear this is the worst on today's television. I have sadly seen far more of Laguna Beach than I could ever care to see. It's pathetic, absurd and so devoid of any substance. It's really hard to comprehend the level of idiocy of this show. Thank God local Mtv is no longer airing it, it'll corrupt kids' intellectual capacity and certainly turn them into 17-year-old self-obsessed tanned ditz.

I could slit my wrist if someone would find this pseudo pop culture "phenomenon" as witty and amusing. It is brainless and nothing serious. The editing is poor. The subplots are weak and annoying. The show is just about partying, shopping, surfing and driving around the neighborhood in their daddy's little range rovers. It's hard to believe that these lame kids exist to sit around, gossip, scratch daddy's credit card or figure out whose going to ask out to the prom. So I guess this is reality tv huh?

But you know there are more important things in life than watching these bulimic bimbos and stupid surfers bitch about stuff that no one really cares. You see, this genre of reality tv mirrors the degradation of human society. Reality tv needs to be slapped to wake up and have second thoughts on airing this kind of shows.

I see that most of the shows oriented towards the younger demographic is just getting more ridiculously stupid and tasteless. Watching craps like Laguna Beach will leave you with nothing but a realization that your intelligence has been insulted. There's just no redeeming value in any of the episode.

It's sad to listen to 12-year-old kids gabbing about this show and see these dumb chics and airhead jocks as their role models. Yes, 12-year-old little kids who still plays barbie dolls watch this show. And that really freaks me out. If I own one of these little kids, I'll probably consider to send her to military school just to spare my child from any ditzy incantation.

fluorescent adolescent

I found this photo stuck in the pages of my algebra textbook. It’s the casual shot of my sophomore class back in high school. It took me a while before I realize that only a fraction of my face is seen in the picture. So I guess I paid for the generous shot of my hair and my forehead. But from the traces of squinting and contours on my forehead, I can say that I was indeed gleefully smiling.

So why then did I get a copy? Well I like this picture. I'm a fan of candid shots. The random flashes, unexpected clicks, unflattering angles, unexplainable faces.. just couldn’t get enough of its humor.

I always hate posing for picture. The forced grin and the straining posture are really annoying. I believe the value of the picture is in the sincerity of the subject. I like the idea of forgetting the camera around so the real emotion will drift through the lenses. I believe pictures should capture and mirror one’s personality and personally I think this shot got ours.

I may say that this class was very unique. The blend of characters in this class was incredible. We all have different personalities yet our individuality makes this class click in a way. Despite our differences we all still get along. Only in this class you’ll see this unparalleled range of characters. The sports jock, the bully, the geek, the slacker, the clown, the rebel, the artsy, the freak, our class was indeed an assorted bag of highschool stereotypes.

The class wouldn’t work without these stereotype labels. These labels were tagged on our foreheads based on the distinctive personalities that we reveal. The outcast, the nerd, the loner, the tech dude, the prep, the asshole. These tags are not just an impression that we get from the others. It’s who we are. It’s what we reflect. So let me ask you, which stereotype are you?

a 5 minute rant

I’m still in denial that summer is about to end. The weather is now starting to have its annual shit storms, though I’m still sweating my skin off. It’s only the 6th of May and we are supposedly just halfway through the three-month-season of sweat baths here in Manila. But it seems like the season of storms and flash floods just took a rapid retreat.

The first week of May has been welcomed with rain showers and strong winds. So is summer officially over? It started raining like few days back and the sun kissed vibe of summer is now fading. At first the rain was a good relief from a serious head-fucking heat, but I’m starting to realize that it has been raining more frequently now and I feel a little worried. Well, sneezing, snorting, sniffling followed by a killer headache.. does not sound any good right? Think about it, I mean everyone is vulnerable this coming season.

Anyway, is 5 minutes over? It seems like my 5-minute-entry will be stretched to 5 hours. DSL is a lame loser. My DSL has been down since sunday. I'm in dial up connection for now and this is not good for my impatient ego. I’ve been calling pldt endlessly for the past 3 days and they’re all giving me the same shits every time I call. I can't wait for 2 more days airheads!!! Fix my dsl NOW employed retards!!